free will, evil and God...

The pastoral answer (he mentions in the end) is when tragedy hits us, it hurts.  Sometimes so much so that we feel like we can't go on.  But, know that the Lord is there to help us through it.  He knows how you feel.  Remember, Jesus was not only 100% God, but also, 100% man.

Pray or even yell if you need to. God knows your pain.  Let Him in.  Let Him help.