I may not have done a lot of REALLY crazy things in the past, but with my eyes having been open, I sure was a "wretched soul" (as the apostle Paul would say).
Therein lies God's mericiful and abundant grace. The good news is that, in spite of me trying to steer clear of these past sins, I "will" sin again (it's IMPOSSIBLE for me, and you, not to), but now God's grace will fall upon me with every repentant prayer I offer Him. That DOESN'T mean I run around purposely sinning, but now I know that God's grace WILL be sufficient when I do (2 Corinthians 12:9).
How about you?
When you're tired of living in the past and struggling to understand each day, it means that you are ready for a NEW LIFE in Christ! He's just waiting for you to ask. And guess what, He's been with you all along, so all you need to do is finally acknowledge it and cry out for His forgiveness.
"If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10: 9-10)